The Way
To
Comfort And Luxury


Opening the door, Sufia stayed standing on the sill, putting a hand on the lock rail, staring at me on her worried face. I am leaning against the stair railing. Face to face, silent. I guessed she had quarreled to her husband.
“Where is the captain, Sufia?”
“On duty,” she said without a smile and did not leave the door yet.
“Is there anything wrong?”
“Oh, no, come on in,” she got back at last. “You are looking not only exhausted, almost devastated. I was so shocked that forgot to leave the door.” She added, “When did we meet last time? It is no more than three weeks. What happened to you within this time?”
“Shozib got blacklisted 19 days ago.”
“You didn’t tell me ever! However, wait a minute,” she went towards the dining room. My cell phone began to ring in the left pocket of pants. Who is this? It is…breaking news: ‘Horse Abul and Cat Hasan arrested after injured in a gun battle at Kamlapur.’
“Be fresh going wash room,” Sufia said from the kitchen. What did she mean by fresh? I have no mood. Now I shall come out quickly. I thought I should meet Adur at last.
Sufia came with a glass of lemon water. She held it out to me and told to drink. I took the glass. She, putting the tray on a tea table, sat on a sofa next to me.
“I had phoned my father after you called me,” she said. “Father will give me the news immediately!” She picked a remote control from the tea table and turned on television, Panasonic 49-Inch, made me bored. Realizing my mind, she turned it off. “I can call my father again,” she said, but her cell phone rang up. “It is father!” looking at me at a glance she received the call switching on the speaker.
Brigadier Kobir Ullah said, “Horse Abul and Cat Hasan arrested after injured in a gun battle at Kamlapur, no more arrested or injured, no dead.”
A big stone slipped down from my chest. I took a long, deep breath and looked at Sufia, “I was dying for this news!”
“Oh!” said Sufia with a sigh of relief; then asked me, “How did you lose your morale and stamina?”
“I don’t know,” I said. Then I think, can I tell her that Rab does not publish all arresting news, especially if they want to kill someone in the name of gun battle. No, I don’t want her tensed. I should think all sides at first.
Sufia turned on TV again, then asked, “May I do?”
“You did already,” I smiled a little. She giggled more; then said, “However, you know, if you are tensed, you can’t make a right decision. You must be free from tense immediately.”
“Yea, I must,” by this time, I looked at her rose view tops and leg wide palazzo pants. Why did she wear the short tops focusing the breast, instead of kamiz and scarf? Sometimes she does it, indeed. She asked, “How to be free from tense?”
“I don’t know,” I took the details of her cotton tops and chiffon palazzo.
“You know,” she said looking at me. “Just try to speak usually, eat and drink, and enjoy that you mostly want. It’s a good process.”
“Okay!”
“Oh, I forgot to ask you, did you have your lunch?”
“Hmmm…!”
“You did it at the noon, right?
“Right…!”
“Now it’s evening,” she stood up holding my hand. “Don’t be lazy! Come on!”
We walked towards the dining room. She opened a refrigerator. It is full of payesh, ice creams, chocolates, pies, etc, but I have no appetite to anything.
“Did you think anything about airport?” she asked after picked an ice cream box out of the fridge. Putting it on the dining table, she looked at me, “Tell something, please!”
“We would be airport bus station with a military jeep, I told Shozib. Did I do the right?”
“It’s a good decision,” smiled Sufia. “I thought almost same.” She took a scoop of ice cream with chocolate cream pie. “Take it, please!”
Though I had no appetite, I took it and said, “Now come on in the drawing room, please!”
“Wait a minute,” she opened another refrigerator. It is full of spiced shrimps, boiled ilish, chicken curry, mutton vuna, etc. The local foods in the Chinese refrigerators, these are really…under the mango trees on the bank of our dying river, an executive magistrate, judge of mobile court, sitting in an armchair before 87 fishermen and bird hunters, stood by order, tied with ropes and handcuffs, under the mango trees, waiting for trial.
Shozib, Ryhan, hundreds of villagers, watching the trial silently. They know the native fishes getting vanish day by day, there is no more birds in the country. Magistrate said, “You know bird hunt is permanently forbidden and fishing is forbidden for two months, we are always advertising.”
“Now what do we eat?” said our old grandpa. “We depend on fishing and hunting.”
“Keep silent,” magistrate ordered. “You the folks broke the law.”
“We traditionally depend on fishing and hunting. You can’t stop it.”
“It’s a law,” said Magistrate. “I told you to be silent, didn’t you hear?”
“This law is illegal,” said Shozib
“Would you, please, keep silent?”
“Release our innocent brothers!” Shozibd shouted loud. What a crazy boy!
“Don’t go against the law, I remind you again,” magistrate stood up keeping a hand on his pistol, but a group of young men shouted out a loud. “Release our brothers!” said Shozib. The other villagers joined him. Magistrate shot in the sky telling everybody to run away, but the folks attacked the armed forces! What a daring villagers! At first magistrate, then the Rab and cop began to fire to the legs. An old man stumbled down on the soil, a young boy tumbled down to the riverside, rolling to the water, some young men threw the brick cobbles; somebody ran away through the jungles, somebody jumped into the river, 11 cops and 48 villagers were wounded.
“Hallo,” Sufia shook my hand. “What happened?”
“Fishing was forbidden for two months. Where did you get these fishes?”
“We have bought these before forbidden time,” she picked a bowl of shrimps from the fridge and put it in the oven. “However, think more,” she said. “We would not only receive Shozib at the port, I told you already, I shared my father the subject, he made a promise he would stay with us.” She told fluently; then looked at my eyes, “Don’t you think it’s enough?”
“Yea, it’s enough! Thank you so much, Sufia!”
“Oh, never thank me, please!”
“Okay!” I was able to smile a little by this time, but she expected me fully open mind. “I have another plan too,” she said. “We can stop all operations of Rab in the area of airport.”
“Does it possible?” I stared at her eyes.
“Nothing is impossible,” she said strictly. “Father made a promise, he would do it.”
“Didn’t your father tell you crazy?”
“Parents and brother always tell me crazy,” she smiled innocently that made me smile too, really.
“Take it to the drawing room, please!” she held a bowl of shrimps out to me. I took it. She took four cans of Australian beer, two pieces of Malaysian flatbreads, some forks, and spoons in a tray. Putting them on the tea table, she told me start; and she walked to the kitchen again. By this time, I looked at her back and black hairs over the shoulders to buttocks. It is alluring, indeed, but she wants me just a close friend.
This woman is always so friendly! She strives to make her friends happy and pleased by any means. Now unless I eat anything, she must be upset, but I have not a little appetite. Now I just expect a phone call from Shozib. As it was an unfortunate incident in the call shop, he must phone me. Now probably he is going from Mirpur to Kuril by bus.
Sufia brought a ceramic bowl of chicken and two clear mugs. Putting them on the tea table she said, “Why didn’t you start yet?” she looked at me turning her eyeballs leftward. “Would I feed you like the…!” she did not finish. I smiled lifting my eyes to her face, “Like what?”
She stabbed a shrimp with a fork saying “something have to imagine,” then she picked the forked shrimp up to my mouth saying “everything’s not to say. Now take it.”
“But I am afraid of your fork,” I smiled a little.
“Okay!” keeping the fork, she picked a shrimp with thumb and index finger.
“Oh, I just made a fun,” I said. “Actually this time I have no appetite to any food, Sufia, you can imagine my situation. My brother is running in front of death. Nowadays I don’t eat any appetizing food.”
“He’s okay, stupid boy. Now take it,” she held it out to my mouth. “You must take it,” she forced me. She does it sometimes as her manner. I took the shrimp from her hand, but I did not praise saying ‘wow, your finger made it heavenly,’ or I did not make any fun saying ‘oh, it made my mouth bitter.’ Both of the speeches she enjoys always with her sweet giggle.
“I wanted to share you a subject,” she said. “But you can’t be usual.”
“Tomorrow, please!”
“Okay,” she said, but I took a notice of her mind, as her face was getting dull and hand was losing spirit.
This time can I make her unhappy? “Really I lost my spirit without any cause!” I tried to smile brightly. “Make me normal with your power, honey!”
“You need eat and drink at first, stupid boy!”
“And I should water to my head,” I went to the washroom and washed my hands, mouth and even the head too. “Now feed me enough,” I opened my mouth widely. Sufia giggled with a sweet sound. She sat next to me closely. Her left arm touched my right arm, carelessly that remind me the question, what did she want to share me? I have no idea, really.
“I cannot bear it if you neglect me,” she said. I replied carefully, “I don’t neglect you ever.”
“But I couldn’t understand that why did you love Nuriya avoiding me where I was more beautiful than her.”
“Oh, that old subject, what happened again?”
She is silent. I said, “You didn’t tell me anything in that age, and it was not a matter of beauty, Nuriya was my soul mate. She just occupied me first day and she loved me. She made me dreamy as my plan to write a thesis of new production and distribution system where there would have no broker, no agent, and no commission eater, I told you. I cannot forget Nuriya for a moment.”
“She is lost four years ago. Now I cannot think that yet you avoid me anymore,” Sufia grasped my hand. I said, “I don’t avoid you, but I’m always afraid of your captain.”
“He’s not my captain, just husband, given by father,” she said many times. “I think to divorce the captain husband.”
“You just think it, Sufia. You told me many times.”
“Do you want me divorce him, really?” she says sometime, but I cannot understand what does she think really. So I ask, “Who I am to want?”
“You’re my free bird,” she smiles. “Don’t be jailed like the captain!”
“You are always mysterious!”
“The society made the women mysterious,” she smiles more mysteriously. “The women cannot tell everything freely, directly.”
“A big part of our society is free. You are one of them. You can do anything as you like, I know,” I said angrily. “Tell me freely!”
“It’s a matter of thousands of years, boy!” she giggled joyfully. “I can’t be free by your single command, okay?”
“So you need multiple commands?” I laughed ha ha ha. She giggled more and picked a shrimp up to my mouth. I took it third times, shrimp, bread, and beer. Should I pick at her, too? Yea, I picked a shrimp up, but she stood up and ran away. I just emitted a long, audible breath. I never ever understand her, when, what does she want. I should ask her immediately what she wanted to share me. May be at last it is just a fun, as I know her. I went to her dressing room.
She just kept standing up in front of a dressing table, staring at her reflected image on mirror. I kept my hands on her shoulders, as I guessed I should do it. One year ago one day I held her hand, as I guessed she would be pleased, but she was indifferent. Today may be different, I guess.
“I wanted to share you something, I told you, but you didn’t want to hear it,” she said. I said, “I was just waiting to hear it. I was thinking you were going to start.”
“You don’t care me well, you didn’t phone me more than three weeks,” she said. I could not understand that why did she accuse me suddenly. I had no promise to phone her, she did not hint me that she expected my phone. Might be she did that I could not understand, but how would I care her? I guessed these questions would be rude. I said making my voice very low, “You wanted to share me something, please!”
Turning around she looked at me and kept her hands on my shoulders. I am surprised. She never touched me before today. She said, “I know you didn’t forget Nuriya. I also miss her. You know she was my best friend.”
There was nothing to guess, that was she going to say. She stood more closely so that, or as a result, her breast touched my chest completely that did not make any sense to me. Does she want me, now? I knew her a happy wife, a smart woman of clean personality to their military society, and I was sure I was no more than a close friend.
“Are you okay?” I kept my hands on her shoulders. She said, “Nuriya would share me everything about you. You were so active, strict, and sometimes so silly!”
Looking at her cheeks and lips, I am just silent. She said, “I feel you from the first day when you and Nuria shook hands. I know you also love me, but I can’t decide, as you don’t care me enough. You are always busy with your movement.”
As I know her a happy wife, how can I persuade her divorce him? Does she want me, really? I am not clear.
“We need this movement.”
“Tell me about your movement.”
Oh, she wants to know about a political movement leaning her nice breast over my chest. Should I tell her? Does she really want to know it, now? However, I said a little, “There is no progress. The kings and traders are so talented that they are always able to hypnotize some folks, various kinds of agents and dealers, who dominate the others. They have successfully divided the world into League, Benpi, Zamat, Congress, BJP, Democratic, Republic, Labor, Conservative, Hindu, Muslim, Bangladesh, Myanmar, China, Russia, US, Africa, Arab, Iran…So many partitions! Here I am not a good leader. We need a great leader.”
“But you are a good teacher, as I heard,” she touched my cheek with her soft palm keeping eyes to my eyes. I kept my eyes on her cheeks and jowls, eyes, and nose; appealing for something? All of my nerves rising to move, but the Rab and Shozib are so active! He is crying always, “I need money, I want a life!” My feeling is…all are going into a chaotic jumble in my brain. The sense is going scattered again. I should walk faster.
“What are you watching?” asked Sufia.
“As you,” I replied.
“I see a handsome young boy is moving for a dream leaving all chances that everybody wants. You have no life, Tanu. I want you happy. I feel pain for you.”
“Don’t be pained for me, honey, as I am not.”
“Why don’t you care me enough?”
“Should I oil you always? The most of the men and women cannot understand what the oil is, and what the love is.” What does she want really, now? Should I kiss her? She was not agree last time we meet in this house before five to six months.
“Tell me clearly,” I said.
“What?”
“As you want, I can do everything for you.”
“Hmmm,” she is getting imbalanced. I put a hand on her back over the silky hairs. She said, “Everybody wants to be happy. Don’t you think we are passing a happy time?”
“Yea, I think so,” I do not think so, really. I said, “You wanted to share me something.”
“Can’t we pass the whole life like this?”
“Can we?”
“We can, and we can be happier, but you didn’t attend me completely. You’re thinking something out of me,” she said. “I struggle to know you. Can’t you understand me?”
As I guessed, my face began to be closer to her face; my fingers began to go through her hairs. My nose caressed her nose, and lips touched her lips, but she turning her mouth kissed my cheek. I kissed her jowl. Now my lips are lusting for her seductive lips, my hands are going under her armpits. Her head and shoulders bent backward a little, suddenly.
“Keep me holding on,” she said, smiled, got bent more. I stretched out a hand on her back to manage the weight and stooped down to reach her lips, but she got bending more.
All of a sudden, a footstep shook me up. “Is it captain?” I asked. Sufia put an ear to the door; then looked at a wall clock. “Captain will come up to 8 pm, now just 6.37 pm,” she said.
What do I do now? I could not understand. We became closer enough, but I saw she did not let me kiss her lips. I know most of the Bengali women do not like lip-kiss. Now I should try to know, what does she want?
“Tell me something, please!” I said.
She is just silent looking at me eyes. Her eyes are looking bigger than usual on her smiling face. I guessed I should touch her breast. I said suddenly, “I have no idea how to make a woman happy. I haven’t read anything about this.”
She giggled suddenly.
“Oh, don’t roll on the floor!”
“I am happy, boy!” she tried to suppress her giggle. “You have made me so happy!” She was telling something more, but I clasped her stretching two hands around her back and waist. She turned her face to me and kept two hands on my shoulders. All of a sudden, a deep hug. Her breath is touching my side neck. My nose and lips touched her back neck, smelling floral breeze into my nose. “Why did you forget me?” she asked with full of emotion. Did she notice, as I guessed, one year ago we had hugged two times? I was bound to go far from her because of, fear of her captain husband, besides her mind, as she wanted to hug only whereas I wanted more.
“Hello,” I said. She could not tell anything; just made a sound, “Hmmm!”
 “What is going on?”
“I don’t know,” she said. What does it mean? Today does she want something more? I lifted her in my arms suddenly and looked at her eyes. I hoped her silent and closed eyes, but she smiled brightly telling happily, “You can love, really.”
What did she mean? I was confused, but I walked towards the bedroom. She said, “Where are you going?”
“You know this.”
“Do you want to eat me?” she said on her smiling face, getting the eyes curious, bigger than usual. “The captain is a wild eater. He just eats me hungrily. He cannot love. He cannot produce. He cannot make any product.”
What did she tell? I could not care well, as I was busy to say, “I want to enter into you, under your tops.” I pulled her tops biting a corner below the neck. She stretched her arms out around my neck; clutched and pressed. I tried to read her mind, taking a look of her face, smiling, there was no emotion. The curious, big eyes hurt me. Moreover, she said, “There is nothing in the bed, boy.” She got out of my arms at the door of bedroom with a giggle. I could not understand anything. Why did she want me always in her touch? What sort of love does she love me?
“Did I hurt you?” she asked.
“No, it is okay, darling,” I said. “I just made a mistake. As I am strained with Shozib, it cannot be good this time.” I was going to say it could be panicking, but she said, “Oh, you are always…!” she grasped my hand along her belly and breast. “Come on, I just made a fun,” she took me on her bed at last. “I have changed my mind that I am dying to tell you,” she said.
“What?”
“Take me as your favorite way, I want you in my body and soul,” she said keeping a hand on my jowl. “You are going to give me something great,” she added, but I had no idea how to make her happy, how to press the breast. She taught me with her sweet giggle. I learned going to the dying river, under the mango trees on the bank of Modhumoti, “Mother, are you good?”
“Yea, we are good. Are you?”
“Yea,” the parents are good, me too!
“Where is Shozib?” mother has only one question. “Won’t he come home before fly?”
“Yea, ma, he must!” I say every day the same speech, but mother whimpers, cries, moans, and more. Her voice made a sound of fear and pain. Can I bear it?
“Ma, do not cry. All will be okay,” consolation is worthy indeed. The tear is so cheap in here.
“Ma, where is abba?”
Mother tried not to cry, and said father was silent at porch. He has sent taka 150 thousands at Sonali Bank. Now is he going to be silent permanently? All day long at porch and at night he sits on his ancestral cropland that does not belong to him anymore. Yes, it is his father’s blood and sweat. Should I give him reliance? I can mention Shozib as a reliable pillar. That I could not do, Shozib would do for him. He must build him a building. He will buy him a good amount of land that is his first demand.
Father sat at porch of the decrepit house.
“Abba, are you good?”
“How am I good?” father in a bad mood. “What does Shozib say?”
“Yea, he has a visa,” I had to say. “Now we need to give him some money, I have 200 thousands…!”
 “You all the sons of a slave, go to hell,” said father. “I don’t want to see you forever.” He is shouting, “The illiterate boys of the village earn millions of taka going Dhaka. They are building buildings one after another, buying the land of acres. And you two…You one going to study the hell, slave…doing movement and…,” all of his old lectures, I have to hear. I am bound to do. I hid a long sigh. I could not really do anything good. Why good, I did nothing. My friends after BA honors have started service. WB, UN, Multinational, Google, Apple, BCS. Some friends began the real-estate business without any capital. So talented they are, and I am doing movement for the common folks.
“The sons of a bitch maddened me away,” Atiar Hawk, oh, he is my father, cut the line off, and caught Hamida, my mother, “You the hell in the beginning to spoil the children.”
How my mother spoiled us, I could not understand. May be it is not a matter of spoil. May be she’s a good place to deliver his anger!
Hamida began to snivel, sitting on the porch. Sorry, not Hamida, she is my ma. My mother whimpers standing under the mango trees. My eyes no longer able to see how the toy-top spins, Like Earth. My hand cannot spin the top again. Going under her arm, I sat down and widened my hands to be close. She puts her hand on my head and her hand on my back. “When you’ll be grown up, all troubles gone away,” mother says never, but I hear ever, I will hear forever, if Shozib…not if, he must be…must be a successful slave in Italy.
“Hallo!” Sufia shook my hand. “Is anything wrong?”
“No, it’s okay!”
“Did you enjoy?” she asked me.
“Yeah, I did. Did you?”
“Yeah,” she smiled brightly. “Are you happy?”
“Yea, I am,” I told a lie. I did not tell it was a clash in my mind. I wanted her many times in the peaceful moments, but she was mysterious. I got her in a war. I asked, “Are you happy?”
“Yea, I am, and I ‘think’ you have gifted me something great,” she said happily with full of emotion. I guessed, her captain could not make her pleased, ‘he cannot produce’ did not make me worried, as I knew she did not want baby. This was the only one woman I knew who did not desire to have any baby, but what did she mean by ‘think’.
“Let’s go to the balcony,” she said. “Now it’s more beautiful with a new flower garden.”
The whole cantonment is beautiful, a piece of healthy green land in the mega city of dust and smoke.
Going to the balcony, I stood there keeping hands on the railing, looking far at a tennis court, where the military officers were playing. Now I can leave. I guessed Sufia would not mind, but she turned the switch off the lights and kept a hand around my back under neck. No, she does not like to leave me just now. “You know how much I love you, Tanu,” she said. She says sometimes, she feels peace and happiness only to me.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“You told you changed your mind that you were dying to tell me,” I said spiritlessly. She enthusiastically took her lips to my ear, but she suddenly turning around came between my arms touching my chest her breast. I could not understand what happened to her. I never guessed her sex-crazy. Is she going to divorce her husband?
She pulled my head holding lovingly with two hands; pulled it over her shoulder. Then taking the lips onto my ear she whispered, she wanted to be pregnant. She said more, she wanted it always, but she told everybody lies, because of she guessed her ‘captain is barren’. She told she went to two doctors. She is okay. She guessed her captain also went to a doctor.
My whole body began to shake, head got numb as if.
“Hallo,” she said touching my nose with her middle finger, but I could not make any sound, and even not an hmmm. Can I tell her, if she really gets pregnant, or divorce, her captain husband will kill me very soon, as I guess, he won’t keep the baby’s biological father alive, but if I tell it, will she care of my tension? Maybe or maybe not, but now I can’t make her unhappy. Can I tell it tomorrow? Then will she care me? Oh!
No, I want to see her happy like this moment as long as I alive.
“Hallo,” touching my cheek with her floral palm, she was going to say something, but I pressed her face on my chest holing her silky head, “I am so happy, honey! I could not understand you by this time. I hope you are getting pregnant. You will be a good mother as you are a good friend.” I kissed her silky head, soundly, and I felt her two hands, climbing flowers, making a clutch on me.
“I was dying for this moment,” she said. “Now I am sure you love me.”
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